| hello. :) I haven't been on this xanga in about a year; I can't believe it's been that long! I guess I was feeling nostalgic the past few days, because I read every post on this xanga. It made me realize how much things have changed. I updated this xanga from sixth grade to the beginning of eigth grade. It was so hilarious to read about all the funny things that happened in seventh grade with Miss Rovito. Gosh, I miss seventh grade a lot. That was the best school year and we took it for granted how good we had it then. I miss QOP. I had so many friends there and I actually had confidence; something I lost when I went to OLOL. I always was kind of shy, but in a good way. Now, it's more bad than good. I used to be able to easily make friends with people - now I don't even know where to begin when it comes to making new friends. And, I used to really matter to a lot of people, now i'm just kind of there and easily forgotten. High school changed me for the worse, and I don't know why. One of the few good things that came out of the move from QOP to OLOL is meeting Jared. I can't be myself with anyone else the way I can with him. He fully understands me, and that's something that usually doesn't happen. I would be completely lost without him. Reading this xanga made me realize how relationships have changed. With friendships and love relationships. I realized how OBSESSED with Kyle I was and how madly in love we were. What happened to all of that? All the "romantic" things that used to go on in the coatroom and by the library (lmao), and when all we wanted to do was be together and we would do anything to see each other outside of school. What happend to that? I wish I knew. Now i'm "to boring" for any of that, I guess. Maybe I am a boring person, but I don't think other people are all that exciting either. Almost everyone's interests consist of the same boring things. I like having different interests, but my interests are always looked upon as weird. But, it's always been that way. Remember the Jeopardy craze? The Ken Jennings love obsession? Now that I look back on it, yes - it was pretty weird. But, it was something I really enjoyed. Now, it's NASCAR. NASCAR is something that is so important to me. Getting the opportunity to meet David Reutimann was the most amazing thing in the world. Now, we know each other and I can't believe how lucky I am to know my favorite NASCAR driver. Things like that just don't happen to people like me. That's one thing that makes me feel like I don't have a boring life; but nobody around here really understands how truly amazing of a thing it is. I miss being able to sit down a write a long entry every day after school. I had so much to talk about! Now, sometimes when I post and entry on livejournal, I really have to think of something to say, and I only end up with a few sentences. I know it was mostly funny Miss Rovito stuff and Kyle love/drama, but still, I miss having that much to say each day! I hate sophomore year, every day is so unbelieveably boring. Nothing good happens, and it's just the same old stuff all the time. I can't wait until summer vacation. I need a break from everything and I want to get out of this town. I want to bring back old feelings and memories. I want to bring back the things that I miss and maybe make them a reality again; or move on to something completely new and different. I want my confidence back. I don't want to be invisible and shy anymore. I'm tired of being forgotten. I want to be taken seriously. |
